Decision made! I will NOT answer anymore questions that should be directed at your child, rather than your kids’ educators. For change to happen, steps have to be taken and some old bad habits have to be killed off. Now, some of you as you read this will be having some sort of a reaction, maybe an emotional one wondering, “how dare he?”.
This is something I have noticed with some parents; unfortunately, the majority. You will talk to teachers, tutors, and other folks who play a role in your child’s growth but, NOT YOUR CHILD! Reason given is that they may not be mature enough. This is not a disclaimer but this article does not put all the parents into one box. It is only meant for those who prefer the box.
We have become an extremely reactive society; good or bad. The problem is only the “bad” is escalated and exaggerated to the point where it causes hurt. PERFORMANCE vs PROGRESS. RESULTS vs EFFORT. What is more important to you? Do not give a superficial unthought of answer. Take your time, listen to your heart and be brutally honest about what your reply is.
I see parents going into schools and coming into learning centres asking tutors, teachers and coaches on how their kids are progressing. I get it. You care and you want to know how you can do more. No one is questioning the love a parent has for his or her kids. How are we going about doing it? A child has less than 2 to 3 hours of time at home and statistics show that the amount of quality time a parent spends with a child could be in minutes or less.
I know the reaction I am getting as you finished the last paragraph. “We all have to work”. “There is no time”. Your child did not beat out a billion other little sperms to be yours only, so that you and I can say that we do not have the time. They did not ask for this. They did not ask for a life of judgment and ridicule. You might think you are not doing it, but that’s not what the kids are saying.
Talk to your kids. There are plenty of opportunities to do this and while you still can. Do it. Do not ask a teacher or a tutor about progress. Ask your own kids. They will have stories to tell you. Yes, it will be a little tough in the beginning, maybe even a little awkward. Do make sure the conversations are not about outcomes and results, but progress and effort. Build memorable conversations while you still can.
It takes a village to raise the kids. I have heard this quite a lot. Yes, there are many people in the child’s life today that contribute to his or her growth. But we are the parents. Our blood flows through them making us the closest and most important people in their lives.
Right now, there are other important characters they rather turn to. Their friends, Facebook, Instagram, WhatsApp... sometimes even gangs. These are scary times where emotions are boiling over every single day.
The real question is… why are all these things happening? Could there be a connection?
Food for thought.
From the Desk of Gabriel Suppiah, Founder of Score Campus.